Have you ever been in a position to have to ask someone for something? How did it make you feel? Your child is in that position every day. Some children will ask, some children will just do what they want and get away with it or, if it doesn’t please you, get disciplined for it.
When children come into the world they need help and the caregiver will do everything for them. Within a few months they begin to try to do for themselves and we are delighted. The mystery is what happens between the child beginning to walk and the caregiver saying, “You can do it” to a child trying to dress himself and the caregiver saying, “Here let me do it for you”?
The purpose of independence (to become dependent on self) is to become competent in managing your life and to gain the confidence to be able to do it. So the question for you is: Are you willing to encourage your child on their journey to independence?
If so, begin to let go by never doing for children what they can do for themselves, by pointing out their strengths not their mistakes, by having the faith to believe they can solve the problems they face, not they way you would but in their own way, by setting boundaries that will protect them and not by overprotecting and never letting them explore. Take time to train, be there to encourage and support and then LET GO!